Let go and Let's go!

I'm kinda lost recently. I wanna write so much but I have no idea what to write. And I don't know why, I miss my Malaysia's life so much, especially when most of my Msia's friends asked me to go back for the next ISCF Futsal Cup. It's killing me when my heart is screaming to be there but I can't get myself out of this country.

I was waiting for my friend in the church this morning. I closed my eyes for a while, tried to flash back my life (again). I sat on the 2nd floor in the balcony n had quite a view of the whole hall. Kinda not used to this kind of situation... For 9 years, I'm always the Ms.Busy in the church, with all the meetings and rehearsal, but now I'm the 'audience'. Staying away from my ordinary-Msia-life is unusual n kinda hard. There used to be my pastor n his wife, my mentor, n all the church members who support me and remind me with this and that. And now, I'm kinda on my own... Even though I know I'm not.

Somehow He reminds me about "pohon anggur & pohon ara" (sorry for the bad english :P pake indo aja kali yaaa~ haha). Ok, so tau ga, klo pohon ara tu bs tumbuh tanpa di rawat loo. Dia bisa tumbuh dimana aja & tiap taunnya dia bakal berbuah... And in contrast, pohon anggur adalah jenis tanaman yang butuh 100% perawatan total untuk bisa berbuah bagus. And then I'm thinking, maybe I was a grape tree back in Msia, where I got full caring from all my friends, when I'm down, I know they'll pray for me, they'll support me. And somehow I think I used to find them first before Him. But now, maybe I'm pohon ara... My friends are so far away, it is hard to arrange some meeting with them in this everyday-jamming-Jakarta situation. That's when I realize that I need Him. I can be like pohon ara that could grow everywhere I belong to, but I still need Him... That's when I start to DEPEND on Him.

My past might be great, but I'm on my new level of life and indeed, it is harder! That's why I need His power more than anyone else. My bestfriend once told me, "Msia is a theoretical class, whereas Indo is our practical class" (Rani Tanumihardja, 2010). Whatever you are doing now, if you're still in Msia or any country or still in Uni's life, enjoy it! Get the best out of it... Learn as much as you can cause you'll need it few years later ;)
And btw, I just realized too... I kept struggling about idea to write and I forget that, my reason of writing should be "because He inspires me to"... Yeahh, every words, every story that I wrote, those are because of Him.

How does He inspire you in your life?
Be blessed & happy Sunday ;)

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